The psychology of making and maintaining lifestyle changes
“All of my future plans for myself rely on me waking up tomorrow with a sense of self-discipline and resolve which I have not once shown in my entire life”
I have been working as a researcher in the field of behaviour change for several years now. I wish I could call you over and quietly whisper into your ear the secret of keeping up positive changes in your lifestyle. Of course, there isn’t a magical secret, but there are a few things that can help, whether you are giving up smoking, trying to eat a healthier diet, starting regular exercise or any other positive (and often difficult) change in your daily life. Please remember that starting a programme of self-care/lifestyle change is not suitable for everyone, if you are currently experiencing mental health issues or an addictive disorder please discuss any changes with a qualified health practitioner.
One of the most common mistakes we make when planning to make a long-term change in our behaviour is thinking we can rely solely on our will-power. More often than not when we decide we are going to make a grand, permanent change in ourselves, we forget to factor in that the decisive, positive state of mind we are in when we make that decision is not going to hang around for a whole year or likely even a week. Sooner or later normal state of mind returns (and of course so occasionally does tired, grumpy state of mind) and the will power that fuelled our decision to be a ‘whole new person’ goes out the window.
So what can we do to manage this fluctuating state of mind and wavering will power?
The ‘If-Then’ Rule
My first tip is being very specific about the changes you want to enact. There is a big difference between promising yourself ‘I am going to do everything differently from now on’ and forming a clear goal and a specific action plan. Your goal could be in terms of what you want to get out of the behaviour change (e.g. better control of a health condition or to feel more positive) or in terms of a behaviour (e.g. to learn to swim or reduce alcohol consumption). The goal should be realistic and inspiring for you. One step further than goal setting is making an action plan. Create a rule for yourself that includes a specific activity at a specific time or place. You can write this down as an ‘If-Then’ rule – e.g. ‘if it is 7am then I will practice meditation/qigong for 10 minutes’ or ‘If I go to bed after 11pm then I will not look at my phone before I go to sleep’ or ‘If it is a Monday, Wednesday or Friday I will eat porridge for breakfast’. Monitoring these activities can also be useful – (if you are using the Jing app to follow self-care activities you can set notifications to help remind you to complete and monitor the activities you have discussed with your practitioner).
Commit Out Loud
My second tip is to make a commitment that you are going to do a particular activity. You can say this to yourself, write it down, or announce it publicly. Tell your friends or family that you are going to cook a new, healthy meal the following weekend or that you are starting a regular exercise practice on weekday evenings. If other people know and expect you to do something it will increase your accountability and make you more likely to follow through with your plans.
It’s all about the Next Step
My third tip is to avoid being ‘all in’ or ‘all out’. Allen Carr in his writing about giving up smoking used the idea of not thinking about giving up forever; instead follow the idea of ‘just don’t have the next cigarette’. Go one step at a time. You may well drop the ball and find that one time you can’t avoid the next cigarette but no matter, stick to the idea, and next time just don’t have the cigarette again. Accept you will falter, and keep going.
Don’t wait until you ‘Feel Like It’
The last tip relies on trying to bypass the emotions/reactive state of mind altogether. By this I mean don’t rely on feeling positive, don’t wait until you really feel like doing your exercises, eating a healthy dinner or doing a 10 minute self-care treatment. Instead use ‘intertemporal decision-making’. This simply means not making a decision for the person you are that day, that minute, that moment. Make the decision for the person you will (or want to be) be in the future. Try and think forward to how you will feel after you have done the exercise and make the decision based on your future self’s feeling. No matter how you feel now, just do it, knowing you will feel good afterwards.
When we make lifestyle changes we are aiming to create new automatic behaviours (habits) that don’t require us to have to make effortful decisions every time we do this new, positive thing. At the beginning it may be hard but the more we can create automatic patterns for ourselves, and stick to them without thinking too much about them, the easier it will be to make a new behaviour a regular part of our life. “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going”. Jim Ryun, Olympic medallist runner, 1947-
There are many, many techniques you can try to help you make behaviour changes. For a comprehensive overview of some of the strategies being explored by behaviour science researchers have a look at this free, easy to read summary ‘Compendium of Self-Enactable Techniques’ https://osf.io/ mwtrb/
Finally, remember - don’t be hard on yourself, be as compassionate to yourself as you would be to a good friend, believe that change is possible and know every small step in the right direction will, over time, take you a long way.
